7 sensible ways to react when someone puts you down (2023)

Being demoted is not a fun experience, but it is very common.

Whether it's a colleague, family member, friend, romantic partner, or random stranger, it hurts when they tell you that you're not good enough.

How to react when someone knocks you down.

7 Sensible Ways to React When Someone Puts You Down

The first instinct when someone puts you down is to respond in anger or have a good "reaction".

There is a place to untwist (which I'll get into later), but I'd like to suggest a different approach to start.

1) Make it a joke

nothing unarmedbitterness and resentmentskillful than humor and laughter.

When someone puts you down, take this opportunity to laugh instead of wallowing in hate and negative emotions.

This will not always be possible, and sometimes belittling goes well beyond the point of casual aggression and leads to actual bullying and abuse.

But, if possible, try to deflect the meanness with humor.

For example, if a friend makes a derogatory joke about how single you always seem, turn it around with something like:

"I guess I didn't feel the need to try all the yucky flavors to find out what I didn't like the way you did."

Ai.

Yes, this is a comeback. But it is important that it is also a humorous return. When you say it with a smile and in the right tone, you can also make it clear that you're not trying to be malicious and mean it as a joke.

2) Tell it like it is

What kind of person puts someone down?🇧🇷 There are basically two types of people.

The first are those who are insecure and seek to increase their power in the social hierarchy by settling on you. They are often easy to spot because they put you down in front of others to gain "street cred" in the eyes of those who see you put down.

The second type are those who are genuine chauvinists who simply think that deceiving others with their words and actions is fun and pleasurable.

No matter what type of belittling bully you're dealing with and whatever their motivations, sometimes the best course of action is to just tell it like it is.

"I don't appreciate what you said. There's no reason to say that," you might say.

However, do not turn this into a complaint or appeal. Let it be a simple statement of fact. Then come back to the real issue and make it clear that it wasn't acceptable to you, but also that you're in the past and don't mind their derogatory comments.

3) The importance of focus

What is acceptable and unacceptable varies from culture to culture. For example, the recent movie Hustle, starring Adam Sandler, tells the story of a poor NBA scout who finally tries to get an unknown Spaniard to the big leagues.

This talented new player, Bo Cruz, comes from a different culture than the United States and initially gets sidetracked by badmouthing his crafty and aggressive opponent, Kermit Wilks.

The insults and derogatory comments Wilks makes about Spain and Cruz's daughter infuriates Cruz with anger and confusion that disrupts his ability to play ball and shoot baskets.

Later, Sandler's character, Stanley Sugarman, trains Cruz to be bulletproof against profanity.

In Spain, it is more common to take these insults personally and protect others, especially women in the family, from slander.

But Cruz has to defend himself against that, because in America he's quickly expelled if he punches someone who insults his family in the heat of a game.

During the practice that follows, Sugarman says horrible things about Cruz's mom and her body odor and whatever else comes to mind until he sees that Cruz is 100% focused on the game and won't let any insults go by, no matter how hard. personal whatever. he or disgusting.

Other players, scouts and fans may have bad things to say about him, but Cruz has now.completely realignedin the game and diverted his energy from the comments that drained the energy of the outside world.

He doesn't care what the charlatans say: he cares about winning.

4) Know what is derogatory and what is not

As I mentioned earlier, what is acceptable, normal, or not varies a lot between cultures.

In America, you can make fun of a friend's mother to make fun of him; In a more traditional culture like Uzbekistan, that prank could land you in jail, or at least never invite you back as a friend.

But when it comes to the naturalness and purpose of belittling non-joking comments, there's usually an easy way to spot them:

• you're not very funny
• are you kiddingYour identity, appearance, beliefsthe family background
• Invalidate yourself as a person or as a professional
• They actively try to make you look incompetent, stupid, malicious, or inconsiderate.
• They try to manipulate you or accuse you of following a certain course of action.

5) Should you put her down again?

I generally advise against trying to put someone down. The reason is simple:it makes you look weak and hopeless.

If someone makes a joke at your expense or makes a cruel comment, any bystander can see that they are trying to shoot you.

Some may believe in small talk, but most sane people know instantly when someone is going to shut up without justification.

And yessomeone puts you down, it's best to use humor to deflect it, either by telling them up front that you don't like it, or by deflecting it right back at them.

An example of redirecting at them is simply using the hard side of your snub against them.

Suppose your husband tells you that you are bothering him by asking you to help him clean the kitchen. She tells you that your irritation makes you super uninteresting and exhausting, unlike other women who know when to relax.

Instead of bending down or getting angry and comparing yourself to "other women," you can use his put-down against him.

"Yeah right. I'm so annoying that I made dinner for both of us. My mistake!"

There's a bit of a sarcastic touch to this, but it gets the job done, and later on, he'll probably feel a little bad about your rudeness.

6) Point Them Out

If someone you work with, live with, or love is relentlessly putting you down, the above advice may not be strong enough.

If so, you need a more powerful tool from the old toolbox.

This tool is action.

If someone puts you down because you are weak, allow it.Actions speak louder than your words.

If someone puts you down because you look ugly, show them that you have more important goals in life than getting their approval for your appearance.

The key here is that you are not actually doing this for the person who is criticizing you in the first place.

You do it because you can and because you are an action-focused winner, not a gossip-focused loser.

7) Make it count

Someone who puts you down may be acting out of habit orreflective uncertaintyas conscious malice.

But it doesn't really matter.

It is up to that person or persons to realize that what they are doing is not right. They are not here to teach you the basics of being a decent human being.

If your parents haven't taught you yet, they'd better find other ways to learn.

Remember that as long as people put you down, you are under no obligation to work, cooperate, or "forgive" them.

Go ahead and let her change her behavior and come to you.

You should never alter your board, fold it, or ask for its approval or validation.

When you do, it feeds into the narrative web as they try to ensnare you with their humiliating put-down.

Being the tallest man or the tallest woman

When someone puts you down, your choice is pretty binary. You can block horns with them and enter the ground, or you can fly above it.

When I was a child I rememberfight the bulliesand I chased after them while another senior held me.

"Be the biggest man," he said.

Those words stayed with me. I still think moral superiority is cheap compared to real world results, especially when you're being physically harassed like me.

But I also think there's a lot to be said for being able to stay calm when verbally pushing yourself too hard.

If someone puts you down, don't give them anything to work with.

You don't want to be able to drown them out or ignore them. You want to be in a position where you really feel sorry for someone.who is so insecureeven to worry about depreciation.

You want to be on the next level, way above that kind of mistreatment and malicious criticism that slips right out of your back.