How to Trust Yourself and Build True Confidence | life without fear (2023)

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Trust is a scary word for many of us (including me! 🙋🏼‍♀️) But when most of us think of trust, we think of trusting other people: our partners, children, friends, family, colleagues, etc. too trust. I'm sorry, but I have news you don't want to hear. Confidence is something you need to build in yourself FIRST and that's exactly what we're going to talk about today. Let's learn why confidence is important andhow to trust yourselfone step at a time.

i will shareHow to trust yourself and make safe decisions.what to expect, as well as my own (ongoing) journey towards confidence.

Table of contents

why don't you trust yourself

Trust is the backbone of any healthy and strong relationship. If you don't trust your partner, you won't last long or continue to put up with a relationship that doesn't satisfy you. Wanting to trust a romantic partner is something we can all understand and understand, but what about the trust we have in ourselves?

What does it mean not to trust yourself??Not trusting yourself means:

• Ofsayingevery decision you make
• you don't trust yoursown judgement
• You believe that you can only make a decision if those around you agree with it.
• You are unable to defend yourself
• Terlow self esteemand lack of trust
• You are always looking for answers in other people.
• You think everyone has the answers, but you don't
• You stand down in your head or speak out loud to others.
• You don't have clear boundaries to protect your physical, mental, and emotional health
• You never or seldom take the time to look within.
• Do you feel uncomfortable spending time alone?
• You would rather be busy than sit back and reflect on your own thoughts and feelings.

I've spent many years of my life not trusting myself. I thought I was wrong that I didn't belong. I thought everyone had the answers but I don't. I didn't trust myself enough to face the hard truths about my actions and the direction of my life.

I didn't trust myself to listen to my own feelings or spend time alone. I didn't trust myself enough to choose the right relationship or to put myself first. I didn't trust myself enough to follow my dreams or pursue any passion.

In fact, every intimate relationship I've had has been plagued by trust issues. Not trusting myself, I figured the way to show love to my partner was to trust them, even if they didn't deserve or deserve it.

I thought love would trust them It does not matter. What.

And because I didn't trust myself, I never knew myself, so for decades (yes, decades) I figured I'd love to trust them more than me. I ignored every red flag or warning sign I got because I took it as distrust. Well, you can imagine the mess this has made in my relationships. All in the name of love, or so I thought.

Oh boy I was wrong. It wasn't until I realized that I could never truly feel loved by myself or others if I didn't trust myself, trust what I like, trust what I want, trust what makes me happy, etc. I miss you .

My journey to self-confidence has been a long and complicated one, as have most people's relationships with themselves. Confidence is built over time; it requires hard work and a lot of introspection.

Then,How do you trust and believe in yourself?, and how do you improve your honesty with yourself, even when the truth hurts? let's find out

How to trust yourself

1. Tell yourself enough is enough (and start believing in it)

Let's start with something so small, yet so difficult for many of us. Just tell yourself that you are enough. I don't mean later or sometime in the future, I mean now.

Repeat after me:

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

How does it feel to say it out loud?

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do you want to vomit Are you secretly excited? Are you torn because you would like to believe that about yourself? You could experience all of these feelings and more.

He's fine. That is normal. And if you want to believe it's true, you should at least try to say it out loud to get used to hearing the words out of your own mouth. If you want to go further, say so in front of the mirror, face to face. This gives the words an extra boost.

It's amazing what we refuse to say to ourselves for fear of what others think of us, for fear of being lied to, or for fear it will never happen to us.

So spit in the fear's eye and let's practice saying it out loud, face to face, over and over again:

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

Yes. It will get easier and you will feel better with every training session.

Oh yeah, and I'd like to add this: If you've never done anything else with your life, never written the next great novel, or made a million dollars, or opened the business of your dreams, then you've done enough that you've done enough. I know it might not seem like it, but we're not talking about those fear-fueled feelings. I'm speaking the truth of who you are. ANDwho you are at your core is enough. because you are enough Just like you. Just like you are.

This is the greatest gift you can give yourself today, and it is the first step you can take to trust yourself. I want you to start believing this inside and out because that is what gets your attention.personal power. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to believe it's enough. You are the only YOU you have and you can choose to accept and love who you are at any time. It all depends on you.

2. workimpostorHer feelings, not against her

We all have feelings we wish we didn't have.

We envy our siblings when our parents seem to appreciate them more, even though we "know" that we, too, were favorites at one point. We resent our business partner for completing a deal that should be ours, even though we know his success is the company's success. We feel small and ugly when we catch our spouse looking at someone else when we "know" they love us... and we did the same thing five minutes ago.

Forget what you "know" because it's irrelevant. Here's the truth: What you "know" doesn't change how you feel.

Denying your feelings won't make them go away. If you feel something but keep denying yourself, you're not telling yourself the truth, are you? So how can you trust yourself?

Admit it when you're sad, angry, or jealous. These are your true feelings, and hiding them or pretending they aren't there doesn't make them any less real. You have to recognize your feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly, in order to recognize thembuild confidence. Also, once you recognize her, you can slowly start working through your feelings to find out what's on her heart. And in turn, learn how to shift them toward compassion, empowerment, and, yes, trust.

3. Tell yourself the truth (with compassion)

Confidence is a two-way street, and so is self-confidence. To trust yourself, you must tell the truth. Be honest with yourself. do itself-compassionbut be honest.

I don't want to neglect the compassion part because it is essential. Being honest doesn't mean telling yourself"Hey Rhonda, you're such an idiot you forgot to take out the trash again! You can't even get this simple thing right."

That's itnegative self-talk, and it's completely disgusting. Instead, move closer to a place of compassion. Would you tell your child, partner or parent if they forgot something? No you wouldn't. Show yourself the same compassion, but at the same time don't get upset. Be honest.

"Give him time, but don't run away from the hook." -Rhonda Britten

Instead you could say:"Hi Rhonda, it sounds like you often have a hard time thinking about taking out the trash with all the other stuff you own. How about a weekly reminder to help you remember?

Be responsible for yourself because it is youown best friend. Mistakes are okay. Damn, they are more than fine! They are natural and they are human! But don't blame them. You have to show yourself compassion when you're telling yourself the truth.

It's the honesty that will really help you dig deeper into what's going on. Honesty will help you understand your needs, wants, and desires. I like to say:

"The more we compassionately tell ourselves the truth, the more we can take responsibility and choose a new path: breaking the cycle."

4. Set limits based on your personal needs

We ALL need boundaries! As much as your family or friends like to pretend you don't exist, boundaries are important. What does that have to do with trust? You need to take care of yourself and protect yourself to build trust. To do this, set clear boundaries that protect you from being harmed physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Boundaries prevent us from saying yes to our friend who asks if you will help him move for the third time this year. Boundaries ensure that we speak up when someone violates our personal space. Boundaries help us tell our family that we need a moment to take care of ourselves.

Setting clear boundaries helps us build and maintain ouridentityensures that we maintain our physical andMental health, and prevents feelings of anger and resentment from building up and spilling over.

So where are your limits? I always recommend turning to your personal needs. What to doyou needfeel happy, healthy and fulfilled? Everyone's needs are different and there is no right or wrong answer. Some examples of general needs are:

(Video) Suffering From Lack of Self-Confidence? | Sadhguru

• belonging
• financial stability
• I respect
• Space
• Believe
• spirituality
• honesty
• Freedom
• creativity
• Understanding
• Harmony
• amar
• Soledad
• justice
• community

What boundaries do you need to set to ensure these needs are met? And what are the consequences of crossing the border?

If one of your personal needs is honesty, what happens when someone lies to you? What are the consequences of a breach of trust?Forgiveness is healthy, but what happens when that someone repeatedly lies to you? What if you catch your partner cheating on you? What if you catch her cheating a second time? What if someone refuses to give you space? What would you do if someone didn't respect you and constantly put you down in front of others?

Does any of this sound familiar to you? You've probably reached your limits at some point. What did you do about it? anything? anything? That's because you need to have clear consequences for what happens when one of your thresholds is crossed. This can mean having a difficult conversation, reducing the amount of time you spend with someone, or cutting someone out of your life entirely.

Having clear boundaries will help you manage your relationships with other people, as well as the ones you have with yourself. With no borders, the world will pass you by. you will beout of stocksaying yes over and over again, never taking the time necessary for safety, health and happiness.

Being able to authentically navigate your relationships with others is essential to developing confidence and self-esteem. Developing boundaries and determining the consequences of crossing your boundaries means trusting yourself to protect you. You don't need anyone to come and save you because you can trust that YOU will be there for you. Nobody puts the baby in the corner!

Learn more:Why personal boundaries are important and how to develop them.

5. Spend time alone with yourself

How often do you spend time alone? And I don't mean that I sit alone and watch TV. How often do you sit alone with no distractions and reflect? Do you enjoy alone time, or do you hide and run away from it, filling every moment with a task or distraction so you're not alone with your thoughts?

Your mind only has so much room. Think of your mind as a storage closet. Of course there is a lot of space at the beginning, so it seems perfectly reasonable to add something there. But the more stuff you put in, the more disorganized it will be, and the more likely something will fall and hit you on the head the next time you step inside.

your mind is thatIn the same way. The more you ignore your thoughts, the more likely they are to flood through you from the first moment you're not distracted, meaning that the more your own thoughts, the harder it becomes to spend time alone ignore This doesn't mean you should avoid yoursinner voice- it just means it will be hard to hear at first, like riding a bike.

With endTrust yourself, work with your own thoughts andself-doubt. I want you to take time to be alone with yourself and, over time, learn to enjoy your own company. Without communication there is no trust and if you never take the time to communicate with yourself you will not be able to.build confidence, what it meansconfidenceand self-love will still be out of reach.

Because if you can't communicate powerfully with yourself, how can you communicate authentically with others? If you can't trust what you feel and what you think when you're alone, you will trust yourselfspeak loudlyand say what you think when you're with someone else?

Ready to learn more? read my guideHow to Love Yourself, including 7 critical self-love tips.

take that first step

Your relationship with yourself is unique and often challenging, but it's the only one you can really count on. This is not a relationship you can put aside, ignore, or end. You have to answer yourself.

You don't have to take a big leap today... just a small step. A small step is enough. Trusting yourself is something you build over time. Speaking for yourself today can help you be more confident tomorrow. Admitting how you feel today gives you the courage to trust yourself to share those feelings with someone else tomorrow.

This takes practice, especially when you've lived so many years of your life without confidence. It's time to rebuild that trust: one need, one boundary, one gratitude, one compassionate moment at a time.

Mi10 week fearless life training programis based on decades of learning to crack the secret code of fear, including all the fears that keep us from trusting ourselves. With Fearless Living you learn to tell yourself the truth, to treat yourself with compassion, to recognize your own needs, to love your ownI have authenticated myself, and much more.Let's begin!

fear ofFFreedom

DOWNLOAD INSTRUCTIONS

Trust is a scary word for many of us (including me! 🙋🏼‍♀️) But when most of us think of trust, we think of trusting other people: our partners, children, friends, family, colleagues, etc. too trust. I'm sorry, but I have news you don't want to hear. Confidence is something you need to build in yourself FIRST and that's exactly what we're going to talk about today. Let's learn why confidence is important andhow to trust yourselfone step at a time.

i will shareHow to trust yourself and make safe decisions.what to expect, as well as my own (ongoing) journey towards confidence.

why don't you trust yourself

Trust is the backbone of any healthy and strong relationship. If you don't trust your partner, you won't last long or continue to put up with a relationship that doesn't satisfy you. Wanting to trust a romantic partner is something we can all understand and understand, but what about the trust we have in ourselves?

What does it mean not to trust yourself??Not trusting yourself means:

• Ofsayingevery decision you make
• you don't trust yoursown judgement
• You believe that you can only make a decision if those around you agree with it.
• You are unable to defend yourself
• Terlow self esteemand lack of trust
• You are always looking for answers in other people.
• You think everyone has the answers, but you don't
• You stand down in your head or speak out loud to others.
• You don't have clear boundaries to protect your physical, mental, and emotional health
• You never or seldom take the time to look within.
• Do you feel uncomfortable spending time alone?
• You would rather be busy than sit back and reflect on your own thoughts and feelings.

I've spent many years of my life not trusting myself. I thought I was wrong that I didn't belong. I thought everyone had the answers but I don't. I didn't trust myself enough to face the hard truths about my actions and the direction of my life.

I didn't trust myself to listen to my own feelings or spend time alone. I didn't trust myself enough to choose the right relationship or to put myself first. I didn't trust myself enough to follow my dreams or pursue any passion.

In fact, every intimate relationship I've had has been plagued by trust issues. Not trusting myself, I figured the way to show love to my partner was to trust them, even if they didn't deserve or deserve it.

I thought love would trust them It does not matter. What.

And because I didn't trust myself, I never knew myself, so for decades (yes, decades) I figured I'd love to trust them more than me. I ignored every red flag or warning sign I got because I took it as distrust. Well, you can imagine the mess this has made in my relationships. All in the name of love, or so I thought.

Oh boy I was wrong. It wasn't until I realized that I could never truly feel loved by myself or others if I didn't trust myself, trust what I like, trust what I want, trust what makes me happy, etc. I miss you .

My journey to self-confidence has been a long and complicated one, as have most people's relationships with themselves. Confidence is built over time; it requires hard work and a lot of introspection.

Then,How do you trust and believe in yourself?, and how do you improve your honesty with yourself, even when the truth hurts? let's find out

How to trust yourself

1. Tell yourself enough is enough (and start believing in it)

Let's start with something so small, yet so difficult for many of us. Just tell yourself that you are enough. I don't mean later or sometime in the future, I mean now.

Repeat after me:

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

How does it feel to say it out loud?

do you want to vomit Are you secretly excited? Are you torn because you would like to believe that about yourself? You could experience all of these feelings and more.

He's fine. That is normal. And if you want to believe it's true, you should at least try to say it out loud to get used to hearing the words out of your own mouth. If you want to go further, say so in front of the mirror, face to face. This gives the words an extra boost.

It's amazing what we refuse to say to ourselves for fear of what others think of us, for fear of being lied to, or for fear it will never happen to us.

So spit in the fear's eye and let's practice saying it out loud, face to face, over and over again:

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

"I am enough just the way I am."

Yes. It will get easier and you will feel better with every training session.

Oh yeah, and I'd like to add this: If you've never done anything else with your life, never written the next great novel, or made a million dollars, or opened the business of your dreams, then you've done enough that you've done enough. I know it might not seem like it, but we're not talking about those fear-fueled feelings. I'm speaking the truth of who you are. ANDwho you are at your core is enough. because you are enough Just like you. Just like you are.

This is the greatest gift you can give yourself today, and it is the first step you can take to trust yourself. I want you to start believing this inside and out because that is what gets your attention.personal power. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to believe it's enough. You are the only YOU you have and you can choose to accept and love who you are at any time. It all depends on you.

2. workimpostorHer feelings, not against her

We all have feelings we wish we didn't have.

We envy our siblings when our parents seem to appreciate them more, even though we "know" that we, too, were favorites at one point. We resent our business partner for completing a deal that should be ours, even though we know his success is the company's success. We feel small and ugly when we catch our spouse looking at someone else when we "know" they love us... and we did the same thing five minutes ago.

Forget what you "know" because it's irrelevant. Here's the truth: What you "know" doesn't change how you feel.

Denying your feelings won't make them go away. If you feel something but keep denying yourself, you're not telling yourself the truth, are you? So how can you trust yourself?

Admit it when you're sad, angry, or jealous. These are your true feelings, and hiding them or pretending they aren't there doesn't make them any less real. You have to recognize your feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly, in order to recognize thembuild confidence. Also, once you recognize her, you can slowly start working through your feelings to find out what's on her heart. And in turn, learn how to shift them toward compassion, empowerment, and, yes, trust.

3. Tell yourself the truth (with compassion)

Confidence is a two-way street, and so is self-confidence. To trust yourself, you must tell the truth. Be honest with yourself. do itself-compassionbut be honest.

I don't want to neglect the compassion part because it is essential. Being honest doesn't mean telling yourself"Hey Rhonda, you're such an idiot you forgot to take out the trash again! You can't even get this simple thing right."

That's itnegative self-talk, and it's completely disgusting. Instead, move closer to a place of compassion. Would you tell your child, partner or parent if they forgot something? No you wouldn't. Show yourself the same compassion, but at the same time don't get upset. Be honest.

"Give him time, but don't run away from the hook." -Rhonda Britten

Instead you could say:"Hi Rhonda, it sounds like you often have a hard time thinking about taking out the trash with all the other stuff you own. How about a weekly reminder to help you remember?

Be responsible for yourself because it is youown best friend. Mistakes are okay. Damn, they are more than fine! They are natural and they are human! But don't blame them. You have to show yourself compassion when you're telling yourself the truth.

It's the honesty that will really help you dig deeper into what's going on. Honesty will help you understand your needs, wants, and desires. I like to say:

"The more we compassionately tell ourselves the truth, the more we can take responsibility and choose a new path: breaking the cycle."

4. Set limits based on your personal needs

We ALL need boundaries! As much as your family or friends like to pretend you don't exist, boundaries are important. What does that have to do with trust? You need to take care of yourself and protect yourself to build trust. To do this, set clear boundaries that protect you from being harmed physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Boundaries prevent us from saying yes to our friend who asks if you will help him move for the third time this year. Boundaries ensure that we speak up when someone violates our personal space. Boundaries help us tell our family that we need a moment to take care of ourselves.

Setting clear boundaries helps us build and maintain ouridentityensures that we maintain our physical andMental health, and prevents feelings of anger and resentment from building up and spilling over.

So where are your limits? I always recommend turning to your personal needs. What to doyou needfeel happy, healthy and fulfilled? Everyone's needs are different and there is no right or wrong answer. Some examples of general needs are:

• belonging
• financial stability
• I respect
• Space
• Believe
• spirituality
• honesty
• Freedom
• creativity
• Understanding
• Harmony
• amar
• Soledad
• justice
• community

What boundaries do you need to set to ensure these needs are met? And what are the consequences of crossing the border?

If one of your personal needs is honesty, what happens when someone lies to you? What are the consequences of a breach of trust?Forgiveness is healthy, but what happens when that someone repeatedly lies to you? What if you catch your partner cheating on you? What if you catch her cheating a second time? What if someone refuses to give you space? What would you do if someone didn't respect you and constantly put you down in front of others?

Does any of this sound familiar to you? You've probably reached your limits at some point. What did you do about it? anything? anything? That's because you need to have clear consequences for what happens when one of your thresholds is crossed. This can mean having a difficult conversation, reducing the amount of time you spend with someone, or cutting someone out of your life entirely.

Having clear boundaries will help you manage your relationships with other people, as well as the ones you have with yourself. With no borders, the world will pass you by. you will beout of stocksaying yes over and over again, never taking the time necessary for safety, health and happiness.

Being able to authentically navigate your relationships with others is essential to developing confidence and self-esteem. Developing boundaries and determining the consequences of crossing your boundaries means trusting yourself to protect you. You don't need anyone to come and save you because you can trust that YOU will be there for you. Nobody puts the baby in the corner!

Learn more:Why personal boundaries are important and how to develop them.

5. Spend time alone with yourself

How often do you spend time alone? And I don't mean that I sit alone and watch TV. How often do you sit alone with no distractions and reflect? Do you enjoy alone time, or do you hide and run away from it, filling every moment with a task or distraction so you're not alone with your thoughts?

Your mind only has so much room. Think of your mind as a storage closet. Of course there is a lot of space at the beginning, so it seems perfectly reasonable to add something there. But the more stuff you put in, the more disorganized it will be, and the more likely something will fall and hit you on the head the next time you step inside.

your mind is thatIn the same way. The more you ignore your thoughts, the more likely they are to flood through you from the first moment you're not distracted, meaning that the more your own thoughts, the harder it becomes to spend time alone ignore This doesn't mean you should avoid yoursinner voice- it just means it will be hard to hear at first, like riding a bike.

With endTrust yourself, work with your own thoughts andself-doubt. I want you to take time to be alone with yourself and, over time, learn to enjoy your own company. Without communication there is no trust and if you never take the time to communicate with yourself you will not be able to.build confidence, what it meansconfidenceand self-love will still be out of reach.

Because if you can't communicate powerfully with yourself, how can you communicate authentically with others? If you can't trust what you feel and what you think when you're alone, you will trust yourselfspeak loudlyand say what you think when you're with someone else?

Ready to learn more? read my guideHow to Love Yourself, including 7 critical self-love tips.

take that first step

Your relationship with yourself is unique and often challenging, but it's the only one you can really count on. This is not a relationship you can put aside, ignore, or end. You have to answer yourself.

You don't have to take a big leap today... just a small step. A small step is enough. Trusting yourself is something you build over time. Speaking for yourself today can help you be more confident tomorrow. Admitting how you feel today gives you the courage to trust yourself to share those feelings with someone else tomorrow.

This takes practice, especially when you've lived so many years of your life without confidence. It's time to rebuild that trust: one need, one boundary, one gratitude, one compassionate moment at a time.

Mi10 week fearless life training programis based on decades of learning to crack the secret code of fear, including all the fears that keep us from trusting ourselves. With Fearless Living you learn to tell yourself the truth, to treat yourself with compassion, to recognize your own needs, to love your ownI have authenticated myself, and much more.Let's begin!